Snarky Family/Ex-Family Members

As most of you know I was married for almost 22 years when I walked away for good. We had grown up together and his family became my family. There were circumstances that nobody could possibly imagine. I know and my ex knows. I am not one to trash talk anyone so my mouth stays shut. But apparently he hasn’t. Well, he has about the truth but not his own version.

So Facebook is a pretty common thing these days and I am still friends with a lot of my ex-family. I just don’t think it is right to just un-friend them because we got divorced. I don’t add new ex-family and I don’t invite them to things that I may be hosting. I am courteous enough to respect that is his family.

Let me show you a post that I shared on Facebook and then I would like you to read one of the comments after. Tell me how you would take this. Either way, I do not Facebook drama, so I wouldn’t respond on there, and maybe I am just taking it wrong. “Susan” has been through a divorce herself but I have no idea of the circumstances.

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The above picture is what I had posted and yes I had tagged Bill, my new man for almost a year now, but still.

And below is her response:

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How would you take that? I am just letting it go since I have no idea how I should take it, but it just makes me think of comments from my own family members. There are a couple in particular that I am thinking of and they just think my ex is the shit. They blame me for the marriage crash and that is fine. They are also the ones that do some of the same things that irritated me to begin with.

Whatever, to each their own. I am happy where I am now. Happier than I have ever been. I feel like I need to defend myself but I am not sure why. I know how things were and I know that I stayed through ALL of the tough times, and it wasn’t until we got through them all and the kids were out on their own before I walked away. I could have walked away 7 years earlier when I really wanted to but didn’t because of the tough times. I needed to get the family through first.

Anyway, this just struck a nerve. What are your thoughts? Did I just take it wrong?

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Parents Guide to Best Practices for their Childs Daycare

This guide is to help parents and daycare providers have a great relationship, which will help your child in the long run. I have been on both sides of this, being a working mom in the beginning to a daycare provider in the end.

Parents: You need to trust your daycare. If you don’t then find a new one. This is critical for all involved.

Daycare: Be very clear of expectations with the parents right from the beginning. Open/close times, late fee’s, vacations, lunches, naps and anything else that is involved with your daily routines.

Parents: Sending your child to daycare for the first time is huge both emotionally and mentally. Make the transition smoother with knowledge. Yes, get to know the provider. Know their expectations. Have a clear understanding right up front that things will be different than when your child was just home with you all of the time. There will be other children, which means higher chances of illness and not so attractive attitude changes. Children learn the fastest by watching other children. This could be a blessing or a nightmare and sometimes both at the same time. This is normal. You can bring up the issue with your provider but do not expect them to put your child in a bubble. They do reprimand the naughty child and they do tell the parents, but your child will try it to see what happens. This is normal. This is where your parenting skills come in. I can go over this in more detail in other posts and into more specifics with each age group. Talk to your provider openly, not accusingly. Again, if you do not trust them, then do not bring your child there.

Daycare: You have been around the block with kids of all ages. A lot of your parents haven’t. This may even be their first child or first time needing a daycare. Be considerate and understanding while talking/listening to them. Have all of your expectations written out and signed by the parents. Make sure they understand what you expect up front so their isn’t any question down the road. Also keep in mind that this is new to the child too so there will be an adjustment period. Do not assume the parent knows everything. If there is an incident at daycare, please share that with all of the parents. You do not need to name names but let them know that their child may have witnessed a horrible tantrum, a biting/pushing situation or even older kids fighting. Keep the parents in “the know” so they can address it and use the situation as a learning tool.

These are basic ideas that may seem unimportant, but trust me they are key to having a great daycare provider/parent/child relationship.

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Parenting Award

Ok well i am getting ready for work and just heard one more thing on the news that just makes me want physically mutilate some parents. Another child has died in a hot car. How does this happen?

 

How can anyone be so stupid and ignorant? I get the whole routine driving thing, I did it for years and years and years. I have driven by one of their schools and had to turn around to go back to drop them off but I have never, ever left them in the damn car! Memory is not one of my strong suits either.

 

But my kids are my life and when you add a little common sense in with that you get to keep your children alive. Yay!!! It is not a hard concept people.

 

And as for us, the ones that don’t kill our children, when you see a child left in the car, no need to call the police. Take the child out safely, go find the parent, put them in the back seat, securely of course, we wouldn’t want them to be able to move, roll up the windows, lock the doors and walk away. For good measure hang a sign in the window saying that they did the same thing to their child.

 

I am so over this shit.

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