Emotionally Challenging Day

Today has been very emotional for me, and I know why, but it is weird that it has affected me as much as it has.

First, if you have read my post, I Failed the Blog Challenge , then you know that I had spent the day Monday in the hospital with her. She hasn’t improved throughout the week so she called me at work this morning to let me know that her father had taken her back in. My poor girl is suffering so bad.

So like that isn’t emotional enough, I had a boy and his grandfather come into my work today because the boy had made a tough decision. You see, they were in a couple of weeks ago to see if we could order parts for the boys toolbox so he could fix it enough so that it could hold his dads tools. His dad had died a short time ago and this box and tools was all he had left. Unfortunately that particular style of the Craftsman Toolbox was discontinued years ago and you cant even get the parts, but my boss let me offer him a trade in for a brand new toolbox that was equivalent. That is the part he had to think about. To trade in his dead fathers toolbox to have a new one to hold his dead fathers tools.

Well that young man came in today making probably the toughest decision of his life. He traded the old one for a brand new one. Most people would be excited but I could see the pain in his little eyes. My heart was breaking for him. I wanted him to be able to keep that old box just to have and still have the new one that was at least functional. But no, I was told that we could not do that.

After I went out back trying to plead my case one more time, I was still told no. What were they going to do with that old box anyway? Throw it in the trash, so to speak. (Just so you know, I did not do any of this in front of the little boy or his family). I was crying walking back to my section. I felt so bad for him and he was being so strong and brave. He was doing the right thing even though it hurt.

I couldn’t let it go, still can’t. I tried calling the store back tonight after I had left to try one more time, the answer was still no. This just doesn’t seem fair. My work explained that it was done through a warranty exchange and it will get thrown away, but not until it gets sent back to Craftsman for verification. It makes sense, but I just thought it would have been a good deed since that little boy was trying to do the grown up thing even though it was causing him so much obvious pain.

So those are my two emotional triggers for today. I am signing off now since my daughter will be dropped off here with her mamma in just a few minutes.

 

Building Your Inner Self

Today has been one of those days that I had very deep emotional talks with co-workers and customers. It was a little weird how open everyone was today, but I absolutely loved it. Sometimes I wonder what about me lets people trust me with their deepest thoughts, but it must be genuine and natural to me because it happens often.

I love the conversations that people share with me. I feel their emotions and it affects me deeply but they need to talk about things and I am pretty sure that I was put on this earth to listen and offer encouragement when appropriate. I wish I could do this for a living but I don’t think it would be the same.

Maybe I could run a support group or something. But to add volunteer work to my already crazy schedule would probably put me over the edge. Something will pop up if it is meant to be I am sure. Everything happens for a reason, right? Right. My mind has been wandering in so many directions for the past couple of days. I am pretty sure that I am at a point in my life that I need to stop dabbling and actually pursue something full force.

BlogHer

Give Up or Fight Through it?

Giving up or fighting through is my battle for today. I want to bawl my eyes out and go upstairs, lay in my bed and just sleep until I feel better. The alternative is to keep writing and think about why my man is acting weird toward me or that my kids don’t love me as much as they love their dad. Just be miserable in general.

My emotional state that I am in now actually started yesterday afternoon and has just intensified. I ran out of my Estraval pills that are for my hormones and it just so happens that we are also having a bad financial week thanks to the dirty rotten scoundrel that I wrote about the other day. So between money and hormones I am completely out of it and believe that everyone is out to hurt my feelings.

So you can see my dilemma. I should just be in bed so people don’t have to see me like this. But considering I am on meds for depression and always seem to be right on the edge of another breakdown that had me in bed for about a year, I am a little gun shy about just going to bed when I have a bad day.

When I am in a mood, I seem to be drawn to blog posts that are along the same lines. Last night I found this one from Jenny over at The Bloggess and just totally felt like she was my new best friend. Of course that post was written almost a year ago and she has thousands of people that feel the same way. Oh well, I like her. She now has my #1 favorite blog in the world.

Ok, I will go for now. My girls should be back here soon with my little Miss. Brooklyn and I need to grab some lunch. But I am sure I will have more postings before this day is over. Thank you for listening.

PS: My man works on commission selling large appliances at Sears in Augusta, ME. His name is Bill. Look him up and buy a ton of stuff with him…we need the money.

PSS: If you have any chocolate please share. I think it could really help my mood.

 

 

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